Monday, June 15, 2009

No, Gene Simmons, You Shut Up!

Andy’s post about our previous lives as advice-givers to teens reminded me of this little outburst from KISS frontman Gene Simmons. After performing on the American Idol finale with Adam Lambert, Simmons told Rolling Stone that Lambert would be “much more convincing singing ballads or showtunes.” Translation: Adam is way too gay to share the stage with four men in head-to-toe leather, wigs, thigh-high platform boots and full make-up. Um, OK, Gene.

But the same day Rolling Stone published those comments, Britain’s Digital Spy reported a different take from Simmons, inviting Lambert to tour with KISS "anytime he'd like," adding, “Adam is fantastic. What a powerful and attractive man he is.” Aw, so bromantic!

Now we learn that Simmons was in our hometown last week, appearing on the local Fox affil, and again he’s distancing himself from that big American Idol sissy. Gene starts out praising Lambert’s ability, but makes it clear his future is limited to playing the young Freddie Mercury in Queen or really gaying it up on Broadway. Then his split personality takes a hard turn, this time into full on homophobia. “Mostly he should shut up about his sexual preferences, we, America and the rest of the world, doesn’t really care.” Speak for yourself, asshole. Gene covers a sampling of the right-wing’s greatest hits, making the logical comparison to sex with farm animals, before claiming performers should “be quiet about what they do indoors and go out there and sing.”

Yup. Basically “Nobody wants to see that, gay people!” from the guy who regularly appears in public looking like this:


Skip to 2:20 to hear Gene’s full answer.





Oh, yeah, he's a real charmer. We want to be outraged, and of course we’re disgusted, but it’s amusing in a weird way. He’s ridiculous, but not because he’s turning 60 in two months and still does what he does without an apparent hint of irony. He’s ridiculous because he does that, and claims gay performers should closet their own relative “freakiness,” which is not even freaky to begin with, you ignorant old hypocrite. His back and forth statements on Lambert and his need to constantly stress he should stick to the queer stuff just scream “Gay Panic!” Of course we’re not insinuating Miss Lambert would sully herself with Old Man Leather, but Gene is coming off a bit like the paranoid straight guy who freaks after chummy male bonding goes a step too far. Calm down, Gene! Sharing the same stage won’t make you gay!

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